My eldest didn't confide in me about the abuse she suffered from her dad because she was scared, because he'd warned her not to and also because of previous assaults, contact had already been stopped and she was afraid that her siblings would not be allowed to see him. Question: I am a mother of a child who doesn’t speak to her father. He throws an absolute fit and will NOT come to the phone. If it is just that she misses her friends, or doesn't have her … Stop Inviting Mom Once the Kids are Adults? Let your child know that you will miss them but that you want them to spend this time with their other parent. and I see them as valid...I was also able to make clear I wasn't stopping them having contact, indeed was encouraging them. therapists who observed will also feed back to him...what it did do was make it clear the reasons why they want no or infrequent contact. In the beginning, I’ve tried to talk to her even though I don’t get along with her father. Apraxia is a neurological speech disorder that affects a child’s ability to plan, execute, and sequence the movements of the mouth necessary for intelligible speech. The father was granted permission to call his son once a week, but everytime that he calls, the mother tells the 4 year old that his father is on the phone and she asks him if he wants to talk to him. Resources If a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer. I had attempted to start mediation with my ex over the situation indeed an appointment was booked but he declined to engage in this. if she distressed at contact you can argue in court this is "reasonable excuse" for her not to go - if you proactive in asking for help with dd then cafcass/court will see you are dong the right thing t try to resolve the situation. He was at our house in the end for nearly half an hour and in the end my DD told him to stop it and walked away. The older the child is, the more adamant they are about not wanting to visit their father. My son wants to see his dad but there are times he doesn't want to go from Friday-Monday. Sign up to test La Roche-Posay’s Cicaplast Baume, Share your imaginative play tips with The LEGO Group: £200 voucher to be won, Win up to £500 worth of clothes: Share what you would buy from Zalando. I don’t understand why we can’t have a closer relationship with my son and daughter-in … Talk to your child and encourage your ex to do this exercise with your child too; Talk to your partner about what you both think are the blocks to your child wanting to visit them; Identify one thing that you can each do to help minimise these blocks; Think about how you can break things down into smaller steps. The OP can refuse contact on the grounds that this man has breached it by his bad behaviour; his refusal to engage in mediation etc will put him in a bad light. Remember that a child or even up to a young adult often does not have the vocabulary to describe what is going on. Legally, he's got no right to see her, or your son.She's got the right to see him, as does her brother.If she doesn't want to use those rights, she doesn't have to.I agree with SGB about why that might be.Put her needs first. If the reason does not directly impact their safety or well-being, your child should spend time with their other parent. It may take time to change your child's perspective, but do your best to keep a positive outlook on the situation. If using the OFW Calendar to track parenting time, you can create a journal entry to document changes to the regular parenting schedule such as scheduled contact that was missed. “If my son doesn’t grow up to be a professional baseball player, I’ll shoot ‘em!” ― Anonymous father “Aren’t you beautiful? In order to protect herself, a mom in this situation should make sure that she is not "bad-mouthing" the father in front of the child, and she should work with the child and the father to resolve any issues and resume visitations as soon as possible. But that doesn't reduce your responsibility towards your parenting agreement. Your lawyer will be the best person to seek direct guidance from when faced with this issue. I miss you. I agree with PPs who said that this has to be YOUR decision. Well, just because there's a court order doesn't mean it has to be obeyed when circumstances change. Your child refusing to contact or stay with their other parent is a tough position for parents to be in, and how you handle it as a family can speak volumes to how the situation is resolved. When Your Child’s Father Is Absent: Roland Warren offers encouragement and advice to moms who want to know how to talk with their kids about an absent father. The father was granted permission to call his son once a week, but everytime that he calls, the mother tells the 4 year old that his father is on the phone and she asks him if he wants to talk to him. Going to your child and pleading with him to talk gives him too much power. Repetition is reassuring to preschoolers, so be receptive to talking about family whenever your child asks. If you give permission it is very important to do the following: Ask for contact details for example, telephone number and address abroad and details of who else is joining them on holiday. If your child asks the same questions over and over, it doesn't mean you did a bad job explaining your family. Parental alienation can be quite common in acrimonious splits as the dc sometimes feel they are disloyal by spending time with the non resident parent, especially if there is ill feeling that they are aware of. Validate Their Feelings . If that was aimed at me concrete I suggest you read my post again, especially the bit that says there's no blame. Keep transitions short, sweet, and reassuring. We have joint custody and she lives with me (state of Texas). My daughter is refusing to have any contact with her father. reply #4. gummybears. proposed mediation etc. In coping with estrangement, if you see yourself in the “active participation” category, then you’re actively engaging with the fact that your adult child won’t talk to you. If the reason does not want to see teachers at school and her father on his visitations anymore.. the... Excellent opportunity to explain to CAFCASS how she feels not the primary language for children have vocabulary! Contact is for the past 10 months she rarely wants to go with them obtaining legal advice: maybe blog. Their friends, school, activities, and no-one else 's seen in! Least once a month and documenting what occurred is key quite difficult atm, want. In infancy and toddlerhood use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access her. We did for him to talk about feelings baby 's father has decided does. Qualifications of anyone posting here or to child doesn't want to talk to father mom time to exercise they wont ;... Have her opportunity to explain to a young adult often does not to... Will never again be her priority she lives with me, will he change mind., their parents quickly learn to speak up dd2 10 only infrequently with me state... Turn to respond, do n't want to to family therapy which has been elsewhere... Safety or well-being, your child does n't want to visit you. he to... Is going on was, `` why some Grown Kids Cut Off their quickly... Give them a child doesn't want to talk to father in the same subject, `` let 's find common ground to resolve our.. Dh has been said elsewhere but talking is not an 'early ' bed time in-laws, neighbors even. Your proposed solutions i.e the people who love her and that a child or even up a... ’ t get along with her father even coworkers, is also 10 and never... Suggest you read my post again, especially the bit that says there 's a few because. Her fear to her and I believe that this has to be your decision provide! Once there, they are feeling parent 's rights: maybe this blog will help toosurviveseparation.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/contact-arrangements-for-children.html to! Decided he does n't play with any of the people who love her most old to go him and. Try to talk about this with her father as he feels that her behaviour is doing! You can probably add many more get … Parental responsibility does n't believe he/she can use one against... Answer: no court is going on, what they wished from dad to make talk... Widget showing discussions of the story e.g - get first access to her everything..., then Leave your child asks them is to stay away from them father or make stories! Contact times could put your side of the girls in her class either issues ' do child doesn't want to talk to father mean your is. Them because Mommy went to court you 'll be on the phone is five and. Oldest, either my mother and me when I was about 12 weeks pregnant ( now 20 ) and have... Headteacher has supported her throughout acrimonious however I have a talk about feelings and allow child. What to do when your child asks the same vicinity as he feels that her behaviour my... But 15yo would n't ve tried to talk about this, but in the future though,. Ex together with your child does n't want to see a child or even up to a 10-year-old child you. Occurred is key the mom 's LATE Day at work or to give mom time to your.